The Secrets of Successful Manifestation
What I learned about the universe through the saga of (not) selling my house
I figured moving out of state would be a learning experience. After all, moving meant saying goodbye to the place I had lived for the last 13 years and the friends I had come to love. It meant embracing the new and unknown and the discomfort that often comes with it. Through the move, I did learn a thing or two about courage, gratitude, and how best to pack a U-Haul. But surprisingly, the biggest lessons emerged from the saga of selling my house, or rather not selling my house after nearly eight months on the market.
I’ll be honest—I expected my house to sell right away. I thought that the universe was standing by just waiting to send me a buyer that would fall in love with the house, be easy to deal with, and send me packing with piles of cash. After all, I had visualized the closing and handing over of the keys. I had role-played the call from my realtor and signing of the papers, complete with celebratory champagne. My vision board had a picture of our house with a big red sold sign stamped on it. I had filled the house with light and love and invited in the next owners. As someone wise to the ways of manifestation, I thought I had done everything right.
The first weekend passed without a showing. Then the first month and second month. We changed realtors, took new pictures, and dropped the price. Still no offer. Everyone who came in said it was a beautiful house, but there was something about it that wouldn’t work for them.
I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I was starting to worry. The house began to represent what I saw as the limitations of my creative powers. I wondered, with a hint of panic, if my ability to manifest what I wanted in my life was in subjugation to a sluggish real estate market, the condition of my neighbor’s siding, or anything else that could turn off a potential buyer.
Had I been naive to believe I was the master of my destiny?
Fueling my worry was a belief that I needed the house to sell before I could move back to the east coast. More specifically, I thought I needed the money that would come from the sale and the financial relief of no longer paying the mortgage. In my mind, the house became this condition or dependency on which my future rested. I started to feel like my house was holding me hostage and, naturally, that didn’t feel good.
I had set a goal to be in Massachusetts by Labor Day, and as August 15th came and went, it was clear the house wouldn’t sell by then. I had a choice: I could sit there and wait as the cold air arrived in Minnesota or I could create my own certainty. Sitting on the couch in my living room, I decided to move anyway, sale or no sale, and started packing. I didn’t know exactly how it would work, but I approached it with a sense of adventure.
Two days after making that decision, I received a surprise email from my mom, who I hadn’t yet told about my decision, saying that she and my dad had an offer accepted on a house in Cape Cod in the village where I spent nearly every summer growing up. Intended primarily for summer use, the house would be empty from mid-September to July. With my parents happy to have me as a caretaker, all of a sudden I had a beautiful, quiet, and rent-free place to live near the beach while I figured out my next steps.
It turns out I didn’t need my house to sell in order to move. I could have the experience I was seeking without having the money I thought I needed. The universe had another way to help me move and it happened precisely when it was most useful.
That was one of the unexpected lessons of this experience:
There are infinite ways for what I want to come to me.
I had to have the desire for a nice place to land and take steps in the direction of that goal, including dropping my expectations of how my move should unfold, but I didn’t need to be responsible for every aspect of making it happen, including raising money to rent or buy a place of my own. Other people stepped in to be the agents of my manifestation without even knowing it. That is the beauty of co-creation.
It’s Going to be OK
While I was extremely grateful for the fortuitous turn of events, I was also still a bit perplexed. Clearly I had been doing something right to bring that beach house into my life, so why was a buyer still elusive? How could I create something great in one area of my life and not in the other? What was going on? Was I doing something wrong?
During my discomfort over the house not selling, I assured myself that I would look back, check in hand, and realize how pointless it was to worry about it. I would see, from that future place, that everything had unfolded perfectly in accordance to my highest good. “It’s happening this way for a reason,” I told myself begrudgingly.
While I don’t know the ending to this story yet, I can say that it was a good thing that the house didn’t sell right away. Some things that have happened recently to alter my course a bit hadn’t happened yet. Had my house sold right away, I might have quit my job and now be on the other side of the world traveling, thus missing the opportunity now in front of me. I might have rushed into buying another house that I would now perhaps be trying to unload.
Selling the house right away might have meant that I am not where I am right now, which is where I believe I need to be, doing what I need to do, with all of my options still wide open. Queue the second lesson:
It all works out for the best. Really.
It’s commonly said that everything happens in “divine time” or according to “divine order.” This is the force that is at work when we look back and realize that things that looked like mistakes, challenges, or ill fortune at the time were all gifts that helped make the better outcome possible. This was the case with my beloved dog passing in April, my first trip to Massachusetts getting cancelled, and my house not selling right away. Often it is the job we didn't get or the detour in life we were forced to take.
Resonance is a Perfect Science
But what is “divine time” really? What happens behind the scenes to determine when and how things fall into place? Surely, in this universe ruled by physics, there must be a science behind what looks like magic.
Now, I don’t presume to have all of the answers and I concede that there is something mystical and outright amusing in how things play out sometimes. But here’s my take:
The unfolding is always perfect because we always get what we are a match to (and don’t get what we aren’t a match for).
It is a matter of resonance. Like attracting like. We have resonance when we are in harmony with what we want, when we are a match to our desires in our thoughts, actions, and feelings. In resonance there is no resistance, only synchronous flow.
When we are guided by joy, love, and the pursuit of our dreams and trust that everything is here to help us, we find resonance or alignment with who we really are. Whatever comes to us in that state of alignment will always be in our highest good because that is what alignment is—a match with love and joy. That is the energy that allowed the beach house to show up and give me a temporary home in a place that has always been very special to me.
I hadn’t put expectations on the beach house because I didn’t even realize it was a possibility. I hadn’t put conditions on it, like it had to have two bedrooms and a red door. I didn’t try to micromanage it, like giving it a deadline for showing up. I didn’t block it with doubt by believing I didn’t really deserve it.
I just focused on the good experience I wanted and relaxed into that heart feeling. In being in a clearer state of allowing and openness, instead of specifying exactly what it needed to be, I became a match for my desire and the universe responded with something much better than my assumed scenarios.
The Roadblock of Resistance
When we succumb to fear, worry, and doubt, including rigid expectations of what we think we need, we fall out of alignment and what we want can’t reach us. It’s like a Tetris piece that won’t fit. In thinking that I needed the house to sell to get what I wanted, I was reinforcing a sense of lack. I don’t have the money, so I can’t move. The sale isn’t happening, so I must be doing something wrong. But focusing on the lack begets more lack and lack is a potent source of resistance.
I can see now that there were areas of misalignment surrounding the sale of the house that prevented it from selling. We held a lot of unconscious thoughts and beliefs that were getting in the way, including our own emotional attachment to it. We allowed ourselves to get mired in worry and worst case scenarios.
Had I been more aware during this experience, I might have asked:
> What signs are appearing to signal my alignment or misalignment?
> Where am I resisting?
> How am I placing unnecessary demands and expectations on my creation?
> What am I believing that isn’t a match for what I want?
Enjoying the Unfolding
As I feel my way into resonance and resolution and remove the expectations I had on how things are supposed to go, I trust that the house will finally sell, though I’m trying to release my expectations on the “when.” I packed a lot into my request that I now realize may require some additional time to come together in the perfect package. For my desire was not just to unload the house quickly at whatever price would move it, to whoever was willing to take it. There were other factors that were important to me, like finding someone who would appreciate its historic character and facilitate a smooth transaction. In finding that perfect fit, I may need to wait for them to be ready as well.
I’ve found that it is a lot easier to be patient when I fully understand that the universe’s only response to our desires is “yes.”
I have put out the call and the universe is assembling all of the necessary components to make it a positive experience for everyone that is potentially even better than what I imagined. I can afford to be patient because I trust that, just like the beach house, whatever I need will show up when I need it, so long as I allow it in. In the meantime, I will enjoy the process of unfolding, expressing gratitude for what I know is on the way.
- There are infinite ways for what we want to reach us.
- Things that look like mistakes or obstacles are often gifts or pathways to an even better outcome.
- We get what we are a match for and don’t get what we aren’t a match for. That is what we mean by resonance.
- Expectations of what the manifestation will look like and how and when it will show up act as roadblocks.
- When we focus on what we think we need, we reinforce a sense of lack over what we believe isn’t showing up for us, which works against us.
- The universe only responds with “yes.” Our job is to allow it in.
- We allow when we are guided by joy and love and embrace a spirit of adventure and possibility, fully trusting it is on its way.